Guangzhou

Our hotel is quite nice. The lobby floors are marble and the art/furnishings are sort of 19^th century Neo-Classic.  Maybe a bit too Western but it’s definitely a hotel that I wouldn’t be able to afford anywhere else. Because of all of the adoptions that go through Guangzhou, the breakfast buffet is sort of half Chinese and half American/British. It was a welcome change. I was feeling like fruit, so I partook of the pineapple, papaya (horrible), and banana. I also got some toast, New Zealand butter and marmalade, and orange juice. I wasn’t feeling all that adventurous on the breakfast front. I think I also got some “fried seasonal vegetables,” which were bok choy and some peppers, green and red. I got that at the end of the meal and wished I had had more.

Since I’m tagging along with a social work class - this out of country experience fulfills credits for Race Relations in East-West Perspective - we via chartered van to Humen, the site of the Opium War. The background on it is that the British wanted objects from China, such as silks, and the Chinese didn’t want anything from the British. I think in the beginning, they traded silver, and when that was no longer needed/wanted, the British, which were in India, started trading opium. The Chinese eventually had had enough, and they dumped the supply in the ocean. (Sound familiar?) A war of sorts broke out. Where we went in Guangzhou was a museum chronicling the events. The first room had a row of displays but everything was in Chinese - no English - so Robin, Sarah and I went wandering to see if anything was in English. The rest of the museum was bilingual; however, the translations were often very odd with a lot of grammatical and spelling errors, which is understandable. My only gripe is when I see a bunch of errors like these, I focus more on those than the meaning of what I’m reading. The language, too, I mean the WAY the explanations were worded, also reminded me that we were no longer in Hong Kong. The British were always talked about as they imperialistic opportunists, which they were, that fought the brave and noble Chinese. I believe words like “bourgeoisie” were used. I wasn’t all that interested in museum and neither were my companions, so we ventured outside to look at the grounds. Nothing much to note.

We sat on the stairs to the museum, waiting for the others, and it was apparent that we were some kind of “freaks.” EVERYONE stared at us, said “hello” (a word that’s beginning to grate on my nerves) and laugh. It’s odd being the outsider/minority. Our van arrived and took us back to Guangzhou. We were pretty hungry so we went to an American-style restaurant called “Lucy’s.” On the walls are many, many photos of celebrities from Europe and the U.S. A veritable who’s who, if you will. Morgan Freeman, James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, Brando, Jude Law, Monica Belluci, Charlie Chaplin, Deniro, and more. There also were a few American license plates - one was from Alaska - on the wall. The menu ranged from Asian noodles to burgers. I ordered salmon with fries and veggies, and a huge iced tea to drink. For some reason my meal came last, and the salmon had melted cheese on top. You couldn’t even scrape it off, so that was a shame. I munched on my fries, and a few pieces of fried fish (sole) that Claudette had. She ordered fish and chips, which I contemplated getting. I should have gone with my instincts. The tea which was in a jam jar-sized glass was positively wick with lemon slices. It tasted a bit odd, but I was thirsty, so down it went. Other people had a club sandwich, fish and chips, beef noodles, a bowl of fresh fruit and onion rings, etc.

None of us had PRC money, so next stop was the bank to exchange HK dollars and U.S. bucks. This was an experience, let me tell you. Robin got to the window first and I bet it took her 30 minutes. They count the money, count it again, stamp the form, stamp it again … I was really losing patience. Then the security guard gives you a slip of paper with a number on it. Mine was 1023, but they don’t call the numbers in order. Someone with 1063 went before I did even though I was next in line. Money in hand, we wandered the streets, looking for souvenirs. The first place we went to was an art gallery. The guy was really, really good and I almost bought a painting, but had no idea how I would get it home. (Robin solved that problem later on. She asked them to take it off the canvas and roll it up.) We kept going. Shops sold all sorts of things, from Mao t-shirts, playing cards, dolls, silk style shirts and dresses, fans, chops (stamps with your name on them), maps, you name it. I’ve been pretty frugal with my money. I might find something to be aesthetically interesting, but I don’t need a bunch of knick-knacky shit to come home with me. I guess the fact that I have nearly a week in Japan, and the fear that I have to drag heavy bags around by myself, has saved me a lot of cash.

I think the next thing we did was take taxis to the art seller part of Guangzhou. Once we arrived, I knew this wasn’t for tourists. Not like where we were staying. This was gritty and dirty with no Westerners to be seen. As you go through the buildings, it is shop after shop of art work: paintings, porcelain, and scrolls. Robin immediately fell in love with these paintings - sort of contemporary - that had big gold circles in the middle. Others wanted more stark, Zen-style ink on white paper type things. My eyes were drawn immediately to the scrolls that featured vibrant flowers and goldfish. One shop, in particular, caught my eye. I liked the line work and colors. I wasn’t keen on paying a lot, so I would look, walk away, come back, look again … with Robin’s help, we finagled a decent price (he wasn’t much into bargaining) and I came away with four scrolls. Two of the same size, and two bigger ones but of slightly different widths. (The one only just fits into my luggage diagonally.) I had put my passport in Robin and Sarah’s room safe, and somehow two of my hundred bills remained inside of it. After all that negotiating, I didn’t have enough money. Sarah, being the wonderful person that she is, loaned me enough money to cover the cost.

We eventually ended up on the main drag in Guangzhou. This was the first time that we experienced the annoying street peddlers. The rule seems to be - if you see a group of whities walking together with cameras (they always look at my camera before accosting me) then you are fair game. Ryan had a guy come up to him and try to sell him a Toshiba laptap out of one of those seal bags. Since the computer didn’t come with any software OR power cables, I figured the guy had lifted it off of someone. He got the guy down to about $150 U.S. or something ridiculous, but if it’s illegal and you could get in trouble for buying it, I always say to pass on it. Even if it’s $1.

The final destination for the night was this spa that was supposed to be grand. Because of this and that, we were going at 8 p.m. While waiting for that time to come, we ventured over to the McDonald’s to get a drink. I had about 8 yuan with me (this is about $1 U.S.), and I got an ice cream cone and a small Coke. I was so thirsty that it was gone in no time. The cone was so small that you could have downed it in a bite. The menu in the restaurant was about the same as in the States. There seemed to be a few long sandwiches that don’t appear on the U.S. menu. (They looked like the chicken sandwiches from Burger King). And they had fried chicken. The sauces, too, looked a bit different. While I was talking to Sarah, a woman appeared behind me and, very calmly, swiped something off of the wall. Sarah told me it was a cockroach. (Not the first, we would see.)

Back on the street, we waited underneath a giant billboard advertising Adidas - Jet Li seems to be their spokesperson -and not far from a restaurant called Kung Fu. Advertising for them is Bruce Lee, dressed in his yellow tracksuit from “Game of Death.” I’m pretty sure this is not a licensed image. We hailed two taxis and headed for the spa. The way this works is there is a basic price of 360 yuan that gets you a massage, the buffet (I didn’t see ANYTHING on it worth eating), snacks, and the ability to watch TV programs that are in Chinese. Add-ons range from a milk and salt mixture poured over your body to a soak in a cedar tub. Not that we really knew that going in. We didn’t really KNOW what was going to happen, and since no one spoke English, guess what? A con worthy of “Ocean’s 11″ was a foot. Ah-yen went with us, but didn’t stick with us. We were therefore ushered to the lockers, where we disrobed completely. Then it was into the showers, where we were told to wash. In our towels, we went into a hot sauna and were given cold wash cloths for our faces. We were broken into three groups of two people. Robin and I got to endure the rest together. After the sauna, it was into a room with two tables. The women took loofas and sanded down our bodies (I insisted on keeping my front part covered, but this was like a Nazi regime, so that didn’t last long.) After the sanding was over, it was a series of make a choice and sign on this line type thing.  At some point we chose treatment for weight loss, and at another treatment for wrinkles. We were immediately ushered into another hot sauna, where we were given a Styrofoam cup filled with a clear substance. Rub it into our faces, we were told (by sign language, of course). The only Chinese customer in the place told us it was egg. By the time we were put into scalding hot cedar tubs, Robin and I were really starting to panic. (I more than she.) If we had come for a massage, why were we going from one hot thing to another? What were we signing? Was this part of our package? Where was Ah-yen? In the tub, I was really, really getting too hot. I saw a shower thingy like I have at home, unhooked it and blasted myself with ice cold water. It didn’t even feel that cold. I heard what I thought was Ah-Yen’s voice, and I started calling for her. I think it was Meredith and Sarah that we saw next. I asked them what was going on, and they didn’t seem to know either. We kept telling the women “massage, massage.” We were led back into the showers and then were given these hideous outfits to wear (we had “underwear” but they were made of thin paper.) Finally, we were moved into a room for our massage. I will admit that these were very, very relaxing. The diminutive girls worked our arms, head, back, neck, legs, hands … I kept getting punched into my hands and feet. I didn’t care, because after carrying all of my bags all day, I needed whatever punishment could come my way. Funny enough, the women talked to each other the whole time. Mine was the most talkative. She seemed fascinated by my two-toned hair and my one earring. If only I could understand Mandarin/Cantonese!

When the massage was over - I think it was about 90 minutes long - I felt like a nap. I was so drowsy. But no resting was allowed. We were led downstairs, into the coed dining area. (This place was like a rabbit’s warren.) We found Peter, Ah-Yen, Ryan, Sarah and Meredith and the story began to come out. Ah-yen had told them before we even went into the showers that we wanted a massage only. Nothing else. When she left, they went into hyper mode, getting us to do as much as possible. She said that she even came back upstairs, saw that we were in rooms that weren’t massage rooms, and told them to stop what they were doing, and give us massages. She argued with the manager for about 20 minutes, telling him that they knowingly took advantage of us - that it was like a dog talking to a chicken - making us sign all kinds of things. She also said that because of this, we weren’t going to pay for they had done. He wasn’t happy about this. I think Robin and my bills were in the 500s, so they had tacked on nearly 200 yuan more in services. If you think about it objectively, for what we got, it was about $70 U.S., which is a bargain. We were there for about three hours. But the fact that they did it without our permission really pissed me off. We went upstairs, got our clothes out of the lockers (by the way, we couldn’t have even walked out if we wanted to. The lockers could only be opened with our wrist band key AND one of the attendant’s keys.) and walked down the stairs to the front lobby. Here’s where it all got very interesting.

Ah-yen told them again that they had used deceptive practices and we weren’t paying for the extras they tacked on. The manager was pissed about this, and kept telling us that we signed the forms. Then another person came down, and Ah-yen argued with them. Then another person. Then the women who had worked on us. Peter was getting increasingly irritated. He collected the money from us for the massages - remember, I didn’t have enough money so I was going to charge mine. Not wanting to let them anywhere near my credit card, I borrowed money from Robin to pay - and proceeded to give them the money. They kept arguing. Eventually, Peter said that we just walking out. We paid what we legitimately owed, and were walking. Now the security guards were at the ready. The workers came walking over to us, and called out to the guards to prevent us from leaving. More arguing ensued. I was about to punch someone, I was so pissed. We got outside, despite their protests otherwise, and Ah-yen hailed two cabs. The attendants told the taxi drivers not to go anywhere. Now Sarah started to cry and panic. She was convinced that we were all going to be beat up or put in jail. We had been suggesting that Peter contact the U.S . Embassy and report the incident. At the very least contact the police. Of course in by the book China, if you sign something, I guess even if you were coerced to sign, you are still fucked. For a minute, I began thinking about the “dissidents” who, based on coerced confessions, were rotting in jail.  Somehow, Peter convinced them to let the “students” get into taxis and go back. He was stay behind and work things out. Into a taxi we went, not knowing if we would ever see him again.

Once we were at the hotel, we decided to stay in the lobby until he showed up. I was too pissed off to sleep anyhow. Welcome to Guangzhou, indeed. Probably 25 minutes passed, and he did show up. He told us that everything was “OK.” He had talked the manager down on the “owed” price, so he ended up paying like 2/3rds less than they were charging. It’s all about getting what you want, I guess. Not losing face? This place is amazing in how much people will haggle. It’s become almost like some kind of game. Very annoying in many respects. We went back to our rooms, and I didn’t get to sleep until about 3 a.m.  I think all of us who were swindled were mad at ourselves for signing the forms and being deceived. Early in the evening, I even decided I wasn’t going to go. (We didn’t get back to the hotel until midnight). Again, I should have gone with my instincts. Of course, then I wouldn’t have such a horrible/great story to convey. How many people can say they got shafted in a Guangzhou spa? I mean really.